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Chapter 1

Light invaded my world. Lying there sleeping dreaming of a place soft and fuzzy and this light would dare to interrupt me. Wait the light has been shining on my face for a while. Then what invaded my sleep?


Loud pounding at my front door. So I slowly got up draped with the blanket like a king going out to meet his court. I stumbled through my little apartment trying to separate the real world from the hazy dreamland that still haunted my eyes.


`Wait a second!’ my voice sounded a little hoarse but hopefully that will stop the pounding. As I got closer to the door I saw the screen was open and there was the top of a brown hat through the door window. I tried to turn it open but the deadbolt stopped my attempt. Ug why can’t people stop by during the evening. Why so early in the morning. I glanced over to the clock while I turned the deadbolt.

`11:24AM’ the clock said sitting on top of a bookshelf safely out of my immediate reach.. Daring me to challenge its timekeeping abilities.

The door opened slowly as I poked my head through to see who would visit at such an hour. On my doorstep I saw a young man dressed up in all brown and a logo on his chest that said, `UPS’

`Delivery for Matthew Browski.’ He looked at me and in his eyes I could tell that he honestly did not care if I was that person or not. He just wanted to leave the package somewhere so he could get on with his day.

`Braunski, That is me.’ I hated when people didn’t bother to try and pronounce my name correctly. Its not that difficult. Before I could ponder it any further he shoved a clipboard into my hands with one of his fingers pointing to a small line with signature written underneath it. I quickly signed and the clipboard was replaced with the package. It was rather heavy and I almost dropped it. I was going to give out a thanks but the guy was already gone. Masterful he was in his craft of appearing, delivering, and disappearing. I closed the door and threw the deadbolt back into place. Set the package on the couch and headed back to dreamland.

Hours and days passed by in dreamland. Where time is meaningless. What it was all about I do not know but it was good because I woke up again rested and ready to start my day. After my morning ritual I started heading out and noticed the package sitting on the couch. I guess I can open it at work and see what it is there. I grabbed the package and glanced again at the clock to note it said 2:00PM. At times I swear the bar that lists the various radio frequencies curves slightly so it smiles all the time at me.

‘Someday Mr. Time you will get what’s coming to you!’ I sent out the challenge and it did not respond for a few seconds. Then it threw back its gauntlet.


Ug if I don’t hurry I will be late to work. I left the house locked and hurried down to the bus stop. Grabbed Local 14 and 20 minutes later arrived at work.

Work was a club where people came to forget their past. Quite a few people worked here because they were trying to start a new and this place did not care about where you came from. It cared if you showed up on time and if you did not steal from it. It was an ok job as I was a bartender and the pay was decent. However I was different from everyone else there. Everyone there was there to escape their past either as a customer or as an employee trying to get back on their feet. I have no past though. 3 years ago I woke up in a hospital room. For two months my world was white and soft with cute little nurses running around fetching me things. I had been apparently driving and was involved in a crash. Then I had staggered into this club where someone dialed 911 for me. While I was in the hospital I was diagnosed with amnesia. The doctors said there was a chance I would recover completely but over the years and visits to my psychiatrist it was determined part of my psyche did not want to be recovered? Something to do with repressed memories or something. It was a waste of money so I quite going. The owner of the club visited once in a while and eventually we became friends. So she hired me as a bartender. From what I heard from family and friends I used to work at a processing plant for computer coders. None of my old friends seemed happy about their job so I never went back there. Though what would I do in front of a computer I have no clue. I doubt I could even type more than 10 words per minute. I wonder if I rambled before? Since the accident I haven’t really kept in touch with my old friends. They seemed like complete strangers and I wonder what was it that I saw or why they hung out with me? Most of them were depressed and moped around filling their lives with useless activities like video games. Why sit inside a house all day when you can go out and experience the world. Needless to say they would always say no to activities I recommended so I stopped asking.

I threw my stuff in my locker and got dressed in my work clothes. No time to daydream today as Tuesdays were often busy because of the rotary club would stop by after their meeting. Hopefully tips go well tonight perhaps I will ask Jessica out for a movie afterwards.

Chapter 2

They say that time flies when your having fun. It is rare that I think of my work as work. I get to meet new people and usually there is something fun to do. Either making a new drink for a customer with a special request or watching the bouncers remove a rowdy patron. Today in between mixing a jack and coke for someone and a martini for another I pondered if I used to like going out to clubs before. Still pondering that while I counted up my tips. One hundred twelve dollars pretty good night. As I closed my locker and grabbed my jacket the package sat back there waiting for me. Perhaps I used to be a writer or volunteered reading stories to children. It sat there looking at me as if trying to say, `I knew if I waited you would be back for me.’ Jessica told me she had other plans for tonight so it appears me and my package were going to have a long ride home together.

`So would you like to rent a movie with me tonight?’ Perhaps I was a comedian or the funny guy in my group of friends. Though I doubt humor filled their lives that much. I stood there still looking at the package as if it would actually respond to my question. I was going to just leave it in the locker but since I share with someone in the morning I do not know if it would be there tomorrow.

`I guess your coming back home with me.’ I picked it up and tucked it under my arm as I headed out. Waving goodbye to Nick as he swept up a final time. Late at night there are fewer busses running around. Though there is a stop right near the club the route closes at 9pm so I have to walk 6 blocks to the nearest one. The club is in a good part of town. I know the streets are safe or at least safe enough. Coming out of the club and out of all the noise and lights the silence makes me paranoid. I would strain to hear any little sound and jerk my head towards anything to see what caused it. Was I a paranoid druggie?

While I walked to the stop I felt the package to try and determine what it was. Overall it was a weird shape. Heavier on one side than the other. About 11inches by 8 and almost two inches thick. One side felt like it had a lot more padding and it was heavier. What could it be? While dreaming of possibly items as I walked I caught out of the corner of my eye the bus waiting at the stop. I waved my hands like a madman and started running towards it.

`WAIT!! DON’T GO!!’ I tried to run faster and still missed the bus. Great the next one will be here in an hour. I went to the sign for other routes. Perhaps I can catch another route by walking to a different stop. If this would have happened during the day several stops were nearby. Otherwise it looked like I was going to keep the bench warm for a bit.

Time passes slowly when your waiting on something unseen. I almost wish my clock nearby so I could pass the moments by swinging it time and time again into the concrete. Its not that I hate the clock. I find that time is something abstract and the measurement of time is useless. Why bother worrying over the little things? The doctors said it was a fragment of my previous psyche. From what I can tell through talking to friends and family I used to be concerned about time and dates. Perhaps I was an accountant. I was the end result of evolution. I had a wireless phone, watch, PDA, MP3 player, and a wireless headset for my wireless phone. Why anyone would need a wireless headset for a wireless phone? Was I a showoff? I imagine if I had some way of measuring time the amount of wasted moments sitting there would have seemed even longer. Still though I sat waiting knowing that when the bell on the clock tower down the road rang it would be 15 more minutes. Was I a patient man?

Lights blinded me for a moment as a car pulled up. It was a dark blue car I have no clue what the make or model is. The engine stayed on but the lights turned off as someone got out of it.

`Matthew?’ A shadow spoke in the twilight. The voice seems familiar but I cannot place it.

`Yeah who is there?’

`Its me Tami!’

`Um not striking a face sorry its late and I just got off work.’ Might as well been a shadow speaking to me. At least then my confusion would understandable. I hope she isn’t one of my old friends. A year ago I ran into Paul who I hadn’t spoken to in several years. He did not know about my accident and thought I was being mean when I tried telling him. That was an awkward day.

`Oh silly don’t you remember?’ No I didn’t. `I was the nurse who kept teasing you at the hospital. Remember I used to say, ‘Don’t forget to eat your peas’

Suddenly days filled with friendly banter and a beautiful smile filled my mind. It came back in a rush as I did remember as she was one of the good memories I had gained while I was still struggling to figure out what the heck was going on.

`Ah yes. Now I remember. It has been a while.’

`Its been what 3 years? How are you doing?’

`I am doing ok. Working and just existing.’

`You regain your memories?’

`Nope. You regain your boyfriend?’

`Nope I caught him cheating 2 years ago with a good friend of mine and threw him out. You have not regained a single memory.?’

`Nope still nothing at all. I gave up hope trying to recover them. Though I often wonder what I was like beforehand.’

`Some memories are best forgotten. Lets hope you only regain the good ones. What are you doing out here at this time of the night?’

`Just got off work and missed my bus. Was waiting for the next one to arrive.’

`Oh you still don’t drive?’

`Nope figured once a life time was enough for me. Is this your car you spoke of back then or different car?’

`This is my baby. 1996 Pontiac Firebird with Vortech supercharger on the LT1 V8.… I can tell even without looking that your already rolling your eyes.’

She was right. I know definitely I was never a car person. I remember her telling me about her car when I was still in the hospital. Her talking about the time spent looking for a supercharger that fit her modification RAM Air intake. I drifted off for a moment as I remembered.

`Matthew wake up!’

`Doh sorry I was thinking about your car and you telling me about it back when. So I imagine it got together ok and now runs well.’

`It runs great! Would you like a ride and you can find out for yourself? I recently got the leather seats fixed so the power controls work correctly now.’

`Well being that my bus is still not here and it is a rare moment that I get to ride in such a fancy carriage I would like to take you up on the ride offer.’

`Great hop in and lets go. Would you like to go for coffee somewhere or is there pressing matters to attend to at your residence?’

`Coffee would be great. Nothing pressing at my apartment except a clock that shall be taught its place.’

`Still not comfortable with the measurement of time eh? How are you about handling the new invention called Electricity?’

`Very funny I just find it difficult to accept the measurement of something that really doesn’t exist. Its an entirely sub……’

`Lets talk about this over coffee instead of while standing around here.’

I opened the car door and climbed in. The leather seat wrapped itself around me as I settled in. Sitting so low to the ground I had difficulty grasping how fast she was going. From the occasional squeals of the tires when she took a corner I knew it was faster than the posted limit.

Chapter 3

Send me mail

copyright Ed Buchanan 2004.